Stories

A War In A Very Green Land.

A gentleman sent me this comment this morning:

Banks Can Go Below Minimum Liquidity During Crisis

Great, I can read the secret emails even now – “Boys, conjure me a crisis – we’re broke –” … “OK boss, don’t worry we’ll start a war in Greenland”

 

This is what actually happened …

P 301o A war in a very green landWe find ourselves in the Pentagon. A young officer has been called to the General’s office. The General’s agitated. We butt in at the end of their conversation.

“Greenland, sir?”

“That’s what I said, son! Greenland”

“Yessir”

Moments later, the young lieutenant marches back to the planning room, his ears are still buzzing from the General’s battering. But he’s getting used to that now.

“Greenland? Where’s Greenland, Bill?” he says having gotten a gasper and a mug of strong coffee from the vendomat in the hall. He takes a deep drag to steady his nerves.

“Dunno, Mike” says Bill, the ops officer on watch that evening at the Pentagon. “Let’s have a look – here! This is Europe” Spreading a map across his desk. They peer at it, strange places and happy memories of shopping for Christmas presents in London (England). And not so happy ones in Paris. Texas this time, that visit was a real mistake with the missus!. How was he supposed to know there were two?

“Gee, Bill, this is hard. Look at all these places! Bel-gi-um, Lux-em-burg (sound like its German, dunnit?)”

“It’s next door, Mike”

“Hey, so it is! Isn’t it amazing how places meet up like this without any gaps in between!”

“You mean like the Atlantic”

“Sure! I guess you could call it a gap, Bill”.

“Now where’s Heilbronn – my unit was stationed in Germany in the 80s – Hamburg – Hanover – no Heilbronn.” He draws his fingers across the map of Northern Europe. ”Maybe they changed the name because of the word “Heil” in it? Nope: it ain’t there, Mike, maybe they nuked it? But there ain’t no Green Land anywheres I can see.”

A thought occurs to him as his eyes stroll around unfamiliar shapes and islands.

“Hey! what about Ireland?” Looking at Mike, “– ain’t that supposed to be green?”

“I guess it is, Bill. But well, it’s just that you know … ” Mike takes a deep drag. “I’m Irish American. Why would we fight the Irish?” Taking another cigarette from Bill’s hand and lighting it with the butt.

“We’ve got Lebanese Americans and we fought Lebanon, didn’t we?” Bill looks up at him from his desk ”So why not?”

“I guess you’re right. Funny that, everyone knows where Ireland is, why didn’t he just say that?”

“Maybe he didn’t want to hurt your feelings, Mike!”

 

 

Disclaimer: No US Military egos were harmed in this post.

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