Why Do They Hate The People They Work With?
The Subconscious, Part 6
There is an old saying, probably as old as the boardroom itself, and it goes like this: “Half the board of directors are your enemies, but the other half of the board of directors are the kind of people who make you prefer your enemies“.
Now many of you will find this puzzling, but I doubt if many reading this will have ever been in a boardroom. Come to that, neither have I! But I do understand what’s going on here, so allow me a little by way of imagining what it’s like in the boardroom. After all, for all their power and prestige, directors are all too human.
And my analysis is based on that last sentence. That they’re human. No small part is why they’re there at all, and they are facing this puzzling situation as a result.
We’ll begin with the enemies. Why are these guys enemies anyway? Are they not working to a common purpose? Perhaps not. For it is part of a modern male to be dominant, and these animal passions are allowed free play in the systems we have set up to run businesses. The alpha-male will make it to the top, the beta-male will struggle with the mortgage. The thwarted alpha-male will become a little Hitler, the ever thwarted beta-male will always struggle. Well,hat’s life! But how many people actually liked Hitler, and how many people were his enemy? How many put up with Hitler simply because he was the boss – and how many were given any choice?
Dominance in this respect is to wield one’s own will over others, and in doing so, deny them their voice. This is not a situation which engenders open conversation, is it?
It’s “do as you’re told and shut up”.
Neither person comes out of this any wiser. The dominant person isn’t interested in the other person and the dominated person has every right to see the other as an enemy.
You can begin to see that this is a situation where hate of one’s enemies becomes the prevailing force driving business. Now you may say that they like each other – so why then the well known saying? People will say they like someone else, if only to shut them up. Worse, to stop them saying something hurtful. Alpha males are driven by fear.
So there are half the board of directors who are your enemies. You know why they are your enemies! Perhaps the marketing director said something to you one day that you found particularly offensive? Perhaps he was your boss in another time and another space? Reason enough for him to be an enemy.
But this isn’t about what we’re conscious of. This isn’t just about those who are our enemies. It’s about why those people
Making You Prefer Your Enemies!
Because you can’t put your finger on what it is they do that gets your goat! Raises that passion of enmity within your chest. You don’t know them well enough to know where they’re coming from.
It could be any number of things, but you simply cannot say what it is.
With those you hate, you can see why they are enemies! With one of them, there’s that irksome something in their manner that just sets you off every time they start speaking. Or it’s the way they keep tapping their pen. Or scratching their ear? The way they so smarmily talk when speaking to the directors junior to them.
But these others! That dangerous mix of not knowing what it is that irks – that is to say, of absolute uncertainty – and twenty years of getting one’s own way – that is to say, of absolute certainty – one can’t take a glimpse of them and stay calm!
The alpha male lives in a world of total certainty. Anything that isn’t certain is a direct threat. The nastiest thing for them is that these other directors are as domineering and as go-getting as anyone on this planet. Everyone around that table is a threat. In a world where certainty is all, the merest uncertainty becomes magnified enormously.
It’s that not being able to put a finger on why that director is so annoying. It’s like trying to remember the name of the footballer who scored that goal in 2004, it’s just not there. Nobody can remember, you’re all plumbing the depths of your mind to find it – names are spoken but none are right. Total frustration.
That is when you are looking into your subconscious. There’s nothing there. Actually, there’s a lot there. Like the name of that footballer.
The problem is you just can’t remember it!
The subconscious is very real, and very powerful. The problem we face in our modern world is that it controls much of what we do. The problem is rather subtle: how would you know? This is the fifth in a series that explores the phenomenon of our subconscious.
The Subconscious: Links To Other Parts In This Series.
Part 1 Why Some Africans Can’t Count Beyond Three.
Part 2 Doctor Jazz, Düsseldorf.
Part 3 Letting The Lizard Drive!
Part 4 The Lizard Brain Meets Its Match: Brian’s Fiat Panda.
Part 5 Snow White And The Railways.
Part 6 Enemies In The Boardroom.
Part 7 The Clock Ticks: The Unconscious Threshold. (Published on my private blog)
Part 8 Milena Sees Witchcraft Everywhere.
Part 9 Frustration!
Part 10 What’s On Mina’s Mind Today?
Part 11 A First Peek At Autism.
Part 12 A Railway Waggon At The Roots Of Dementia?
Part 13 What’s It Like In There? Life With Dementia… (Published privately)
Part 14 The Evidence For Dementia.
Part 15 The Trouble With Alzheimer’s.
Part 16 The Man On Platform Two.