How The Innocent Become Evildoers.
The Subconscious, Part 8.
My Jasper friend came to visit briefly last night, and brought his friend Milena who was visiting him. He usually calls me to tell me he arrived home safely, this time he sounded upset and I asked why. He said that his bathroom had overflowed in some way and had damaged his ceiling; he’d gotten it all cleaned up but was still a little shaken. But he went on to say that he was also feeling a little disturbed by the things Milena had been telling him about me.
He went on to say that she had called me a black magician, stated that I practiced voodoo and suggested that he needs to choose his friends with more care!
Obviously there was something that she couldn’t handle in my small flat. Now she did question my possession of a little woolen doll who looks like a witch. Add a sleepy black cat and I think you’ll be able to work out where the witchcraft comes in. As to the voodoo, that had me floored.
I will frankly admit that it took me a good while to work out what she was alluding to! After all, a voodoo doll is a wax figurine that has but one purpose. Eventually it dawned on my rather slow brain that she meant my artist’s dummy. The kind of thing someone uses when sketching out of their imagination yet wishes to have the pose visualized for them.
Perceptions Of Voodoo And Witchcraft.
So how is it that a toy doll and an artist’s dummy are the stuff of the darkest and most hideous evil? It was no intent of mine, that is for sure. I treat the dolls with a degree of humour for my artist’s dummy is called Rupert Brooke because he liked running around in the buff. I had thought of making him a suit to wear, but Rupert never responded to my thoughts and never seemed to feel the cold either. Since my dolly was much the same size, my witch was called Virginia Woolfe, if only that the two artists enjoyed their time together. It might be that she’s keeping him warm too, who knows? They’re certainly not telling me!
So we have two innocuous figures that in the mind of Milena evoked the most terrible imaginations! The question is why, not only that, but why she should say that it is because of me. I trust you’ll forgive my customary ramblings, because I did want to set the scene as it were.
The point here is that what Milena saw was none of my doing. Whatever horrors she’d imagined as a child would have become suppressed, which is natural enough. It is this collection of horrors that dwell in regions that we ordinary folk have no access to. In technical terms they are “beyond our ability to perceive”. This brings up an unseen danger: these horrible imaginations are part of us, only we are no longer aware of them. However, that does not mean we cannot see them. All it means is that they colour the things we see around us.
Because antipathies manifest themselves in the way we perceive things. Like my little wooden dummy becomes a hideous voodoo doll that is used for the foulest of deeds imaginable. For this was the horror that Milena perceived – and as with all perceptions that step beyond the reality, showed the terrors, the fears that lie buried in HER subconscious. Such things can be termed Antipathies and are the counterpoint to a person’s sympathies. In a like manner, these are things a person likes but is equally unaware of.
For when you find someone seeing something in you that you know is patently untrue – they are seeing something that you have evoked in the seething turmoil of their subconscious. This does not make it a lie, it does make it unreal. It is also grossly unfair of them to do this to another person, no matter how guilty or innocent they may be.
The Double Explained.
The term “the Double” is the collection of one’s antipathies. In that these things are beneath our level of awareness – that is to say, they lie in our subconscious – we have no control over them. We cannot decide to see something we don’t like, and in any case I know of few people who go around looking for things they don’t like looking at. There are those who like watching movies of the utmost violence – but this feeds a very different part of their imagination. A part that is conscious if in need of stimulation.
Now as you will appreciate, the Double is something that is impossibly hard to detect. Not only that, its only manifestation is outside us, and therefore not our problem! It is always the other person’s fault, as it was mine for practicing witchcraft – witnessed by my voodoo doll.
What IS one to do? Well, I have been through this and although I escaped the worst, there was enough for me for the need to become aware of it. It is something only you can do, and it is something only you can do in the company of those who raise images of the greatest antipathy.
Knowing that it is part of oneself is not something that most people are going to accept with any readiness. So think of it this way: how about living in a world where other people are much nicer? Not all of them, but one will begin to realize that there are people who in times past will have raised antipathies, now share different views on one’s world that one never dreamed existed. Such people can bring a very real delight to one’s life.
Going Through The Mill. Voluntarily.
Now this is not something that one needs do. One can happily live with one’s antipathies, even if the stress of doing so led Milena to develop stomach ulcers in this instance. The trick is to deal with what one is willing and able to deal with, but this implies that one is willing to accept that others’ mendacity is actually a reflection of oneself. If it’s too much, leave it alone. For now. Find something that is mildly irritating, and tackle that instead.
The first step is to isolate the instances when this arises, the second is to tolerate this occurrence. Then work it all backwards: why see something that is otherwise quite ordinary in such a terrible way? Note that one cannot isolate the instance and then avoid it! One must actively work with what one perceives and work out why one sees horrors where only birdsong and smiles should live. I cannot tell you how to do this, but in knowing that it is a reflection of one’s own subconscious, one’s own Double, one has the key to unravelling it.
This can take some time to achieve though.
Nevertheless, if there is one thing that is true, once one has taken this first step the rest becomes much, much easier. It is still a tortous process, but it is one that one can master. It may take decades to achieve anything noteworthy, but as with all such practices, once one finds something noteworthy, one will realize the more subtle effects that one’s work has had in the previous years. New friends, an unexpected promotion or simply fewer days off sick. You will not be able to attribute this directly, but one will be able to see these things in the light that a cleansed Double brings.
A Personal Example:
A friend on Facebook asked me to share an example of how I did this, and the truth was that I couldn’t think of a single example. I told her that I would wait until it happened, which in the course of the next week it duly did. For I was reading something, I cannot for the life of me remember what it was, but read it I did. I was frustrated at the fact that he kept wandering off the point. I wanted to know what he was up to! It was at this point I realized that this is something I do too! This was a clear example of my perceptions affecting the reality around me.
As you can see from the above, I still take gay rambles in my posts. It is my intention that they are both fitting and engaging, so adding to the post rather than distracting. If they are not, please let me know through the comment box below.
Transforming those antipathies into perceptions that are genuine and clear will bring you a deal more out of life. I offer serious guidance to any who seriously wish to undertake this, and will do so without prejudice to who you are or where you live*. Be warned that I am human and have my limitations.
*It may not feel like this, but as others have said:
The Subconscious: Links To Other Parts In This Series.
Part 1 Why Some Africans Can’t Count Beyond Three.
Part 2 Doctor Jazz, Düsseldorf.
Part 3 Letting The Lizard Drive!
Part 4 The Lizard Brain Meets Its Match: Brian’s Fiat Panda.
Part 5 Snow White And The Railways.
Part 6 Enemies In The Boardroom.
Part 7 The Clock Ticks: The Unconscious Threshold. (Published on my private blog)
Part 8 Milena Sees Witchcraft Everywhere.
Part 9 Frustration!
Part 10 What’s On Mina’s Mind Today?
Part 11 A First Peek At Autism.
Part 12 A Railway Waggon At The Roots Of Dementia?
Part 13 What’s It Like In There? Life With Dementia… (Published privately)
Part 14 The Evidence For Dementia.
Part 15 The Trouble With Alzheimer’s.
Part 16 The Man On Platform Two.