Emotional Intelligence · Modern Times

Reverse Engineering The Guru.

Frauds and their Behaviour, Part 8

The Monochrome Intellectual, Part 6.

O 604 Monchrome Intellectual GuruI received an email from a gentleman this morning that said the following: “I am not currently in the market for a guru but thank you for the kind offer.” All I had done was to offer a little advice; the kind of thing you do when your partner’s driving and has strayed across the white lines in the middle of the road. A gentle nudge is all that is needed to get them to concentrate on driving.

Oh, and finding the next roadside café for a relaxing break with a cup of coffee.

So why is it that someone reacts to sensible, friendly advice by saying that he doesn’t need a guru?

Because he wasn’t actually talking about gurus at all…

… it just happened to be the first thing that sprang into his mind at that moment. You see, it was more a case of him saying “I don’t want to take your advice, lady”. It’s not so much that he didn’t want to take my advice, it’s more that he had to say it in such an underhand way.

I’ll bet that he didn’t even realize what he was doing. But that’s the subconscious for you: it’s not something you can ever be aware of. And this post, whilst ostensibly about gurus, is really about how people react when they are working out of their subconscious. Because if they are, there is one thing that is true: they will never be straight with you. It will always be underhand, behind your back, excuses, or downright falsehoods. In this case, it was to suggest that I wanted to be his guru.

Which, by the way, was the last thing on my mind. It’s not as if he’s even a friend…

Now since my ‘about’ page hasn’t been filled in, it’ll be hard for you to know that I’m a fifty something frump. That is to say, I’m older than most of the people I meet, and I don’t really bother with the makeup. I do brush my hair and I still have all my teeth; but first impressions are very important for most people, and they will judge me on my appearance.

Which saves me a lot of time.

You see, if they did think of me as being somebody to respect, they’d not think of me as a fifty something frump. They’d flip the other way and would respect every word I uttered without any reflection which means they would look at me as their guru.

Which, to be quite honest with you, is something I can do without.

I don’t need floods of fawning fans licking up my every word, misquoting me and believing in things I never said.

It’s a little like poor Rudolf Steiner and the flocks of anthroposophists who follow him, quoting the parts of his lectures that they think they can understand.

Thanks, but no thanks, I can do without that kind of harassment.

So, in offering advice to a fellow human being, I am accused of wanting to be the very thing I reject out of hand. But then, the person saying I wanted to be a guru hadn’t thought through what being a guru really means. It takes a lot of hard work to think things through for yourself, that doesn’t mean it’s not worthwhile, it just means you have to do some hard work.

It’s rather easier work to read Steiner’s lectures and imagine that by reading them, that you’ve understood them fully. It’s also a lot easier when you can find some of the things he says objectionable because it means you don’t have to think things through…

and the first step to dealing with that is to work with the very things you find objectionable. Your antipathies.

Which, since these lie in the subconscious, makes it all a little tricky. Because you don’t know why you find them objectionable. That doesn’t mean other people can’t, it does mean you can’t. I dealt with one aspect of this in my post “Milena Sees Witchcraft Everywhere”, in which I described the recursive nature of the subconscious antipathies and the effect she had on me.

The real issue with this gentleman was that on account of this, he didn’t respect me, and when someone doesn’t respect you, they will tell you so in one way or another. The real problem here was that he wasn’t actually conscious of this, which meant that he couldn’t actually say so, could he? He had to say this to me in a way that didn’t implicate him in such a denigrating activity.

Hence the gurus.

Only, to tell you the truth, this post isn’t even about respect, because those people who are naturally friendly will have enough respect for other people. That is to say, they’ll give them the time of day and listen to them. That’ll be for the simple reason that the other person is a human being with their own life story and they’ll have had their own challenges – be they met or more usually, avoided. Even so, the interested person can learn something, even if the person they’re speaking with does not.

And it is such ‘interested’ people that I am on the lookout for, and the first sign is that they are prepared to listen to the things a fifty something frump has to say to them. On my private blog, I spoke of how a wise man can learn from a frog or a frump, and it’s true. What’s more, wise people listen.

Stupid ones tell you that you’re wrong, or reverse it by saying that you want to be their guru. Which is why this post is filed under “The Monochrome Intellectual” – because they’re either your buddy or your enemy. Either – or, black or white…

Which are, generalities, of course. But then, that doesn’t make them any less true. When someone tells you that you’re using generalities, it’s usually because they can’t be arsed to listen to you, leave alone trouble themselves to understand what you’re actually saying to them. That, in a nutshell, is the intellectual mindset.

However, they will listen to the people who say things they can agree with. That is to say, they share the same sympathies that their friends do.

You, yourself, might not like them personally, but at least they don’t annoy you. They’re far easier to understand too, because they say things you can easily accommodate – that is to say, things you think you understand. And when these sympathies are all unconscious, nobody’s going to question them, are they? That’s not a nice thing to do, so you’re safe on that score.

Universities are crammed to the gunwales with this kind of person, and with a professor for a father, I’ve met enough of them to last me a lifetime. But it is nice to be in a faculty where everybody agrees with each other. The only nasty thing in their lives is everybody else, that is to say, those who they don’t agree with.

Because they the sympathies aren’t shared, it means those who don’t will spike them with their own antipathies! Mainly because these are left unguarded. Why? Because they don’t know anything about them, which means it’s always someone else’s fault, right? (So when you think this next time, think “is this me, or is this them?”)

As mentioned, since these lie in the subconscious, it’s rather hard to know what you are antipathetic to and what you aren’t. Since you can’t see these, it’s rather easier to assume that everybody else is wrong and you’re the only person on the planet who’s right! I’ve met one or two, and they are invariably as lonely as hell. Which isn’t surprising when those who know them well enough will cross the street rather than bid them good day. But then, they’d say this was a generalization. Even so, they’re the lonely ones, not me.

Monochrome Intellectual TruckBut this is the point: someone who agrees with them will simply share their (unconscious) assumptions as to what they like and what they don’t. In the case of the man saying that I wanted to be his guru, he was merely saying that I wasn’t nice because I wasn’t saying things that he wanted to hear. And he was too lazy to bother to work these things through for himself.

Which is fine by me if he runs headlong into the next oncoming truck. You can’t say that I didn’t warn him.



Milena Sees Witchcraft Everywhere.

How The Innocent Become Evildoers.

The Subconscious, Part 7.Picture of a horrendous voodoo doll and a witch

My Jasper friend came to visit briefly last night, and brought his friend Milena who was visiting him. He usually calls me to tell me he arrived home safely, this time he sounded upset and I asked why. He said that his bathroom had overflowed in some way and had damaged his ceiling; he’d gotten it all cleaned up but was still a little shaken. But he went on to say that he was also feeling a little disturbed by the things Milena had been telling him about me.

He went on to say that she had called me a black magician, stated that I practiced voodoo and suggested that he needs to choose his friends with more care!

Read more…


The Monochrome Intellectual. Links To Other Parts In This Series.

Part 1 <h1>Code Is Poetry.</h1>
Part 2 Vincent Van Gogh: Enclosing Reality On Canvas (only published on my private blog)
Part 3 Kazimir Malevich: Supremus 1915-16.
Part 4 Decision Making Without A Net. (Only published on my private blog)
Part 5 It’s Cold Out There! Blue as a Phenomenon. (Only published on my private blog)

Part 6 Reverse Engineering The Guru.

Part 7 Leeks For Dinner!


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