Emotional Intelligence, Our Subconscious

My Most Powerful Weapon.

This trend was not a marker of intelligence: The researchers looked at each student’s ACT score (1) and found that among students with the same ACT score, the more attractive ones did significantly better in class.

They also found that male professors were more likely than female professors to give higher grades to pretty women.

Here’s the kicker: When these same students took online courses, the deviation disappeared completely.

US News

Most professors are men. If you don’t believe me, just nip over to Linkedin and do a quick search. You’ll discover that most of them are. This doesn’t mean that women aren’t intelligent, humans are human after all. What it does mean is that humans – men and women – are partial when it comes to the truth. They want their version of the truth and that’s an end of the matter.

However, in a world dominated by men, it’s much easier for the woman to spot the inconsistencies. She’ll see her pretty friend get the looks and the good marks, where her own intelligence finds quibbles and obfuscations. And yes, I’m as pretty as the girl in Mel Brooks’ “The Producers” where she’s asked in true Hollywood style to remove her specs. In the crud-mythology of Hollywood, this will reveal a previously unseen beauty.

This is how men think: women are there to be beautiful.

In this movie, however, she’s asked to put her spectacles back on because she’s not the pretty angel that Hollywood’s bosses would dream of meeting. Rather than going home to meet the reality of their sixty-something wife. As good a reason as any for the boss to stay in the office and dream of his young secretary.

Dreaming.

Dreaming and reality are, after all, not always connected. Dreams are always based on the things that lie within one’s comfort zone: we cannot imagine what we have no memory of. Which of course, is humanity’s big clue.

So men dream of pretty women and because they’re pretty, they have to be intelligent. And I am certain that these people, professors and wolf-whistling builders alike, will be so certain of their knowledge that they’d swear to it on the Bible. But that’s how the comfort zone works: everything that’s known is known and everything that isn’t simply doesn’t exist. As good an example as any is the comment made by GC on my ‘Coming Clean On The Subconscious’ where he demonstrated this phenomenon clearly. The problem is how to get through to these people, but that isn’t the purpose of this post. (2)

Suffice it to say that if someone starts speaking like this, there’s very little chance that they’ll ever be able to grasp the nature of reality. Mind you, in a world where many men think that female intelligence is directly related to prettiness, that’s a substantial proportion of people who can’t. Some of whom are professors…

Mind you, in a world where many men think that female intelligence is directly related to prettiness, that’s a substantial proportion of people who can’t.

A very intelligent woman according to an unwitting pornographer.
You can’t blame him: he can’t see it.
Southerncrossreview.org (Current issue)

Some of whom are anthroposophists. There is one man, and they usually are men who fall for this particular illusion, who ‘celebrates the female’ on the cover of his monthly magazine, ‘Southern Cross Review’. The point here is that it is a celebration that is more titillation than celebration, it is a very male celebration too. His women are usually depicted as nubile, pretty and… by extension, intelligent.

In a world where males measure the length of their intelligence with a ruler, or by the size of the engine they can buy, is it any surprise that they make such unintelligent decisions?

It was whilst chatting with a young friend – who just happens to be very pretty – that she mentioned how she had handed in some essays at her university. In one, she’d given quotes for her conclusions and been marked down for this. In another essay, she hadn’t given quotations, and had been marked down for this. In each case, the person marking would be quite clear as to the objectivity of their decision: there is the paper, it is objective. Well, I assure you that dealing with the things one likes but cannot see is far from easy. That element of our subconscious is insidious to say the least.

Dealing with dislikes – the kind of thing GC speaks of – are far, far easier. But this is the subconscious we’re talking about here, and there is literally no way we can perceive this within our own selves and our own lives.

There is a way to deal with this, and for the present I have no better way to express it than ‘self reflection’ – the problem here is that it’s easy enough to reflect on oneself and imagine one is doing this. That’s not the point: it’s to speak with other people and wonder, “is it me that sees them being nasty, when in fact, they’re just being normal people” (3).

Poor old GC fell at the first hurdle, so to speak. He, like so many people, assume that because he sees it, that’s all there is to see. Professors, it seems, are no different. Well, my father was a professor, I had long enough to determine the veracity of this statement.

As with all illusions, this proclivity of men to favour those who are pretty, will, in the course of time be shown to be erroneous. After all, this professor will have married an extremely intelligent woman pretty woman. Now that she’s thirty years older and a little less pretty, is she actually any less intelligent? Was she an intelligent person in the first place, or merely pretty? How would he know??

Intelligence, as with so many things in our world, has little or nothing to do with appearances. Which is the point of this post. It was the point of my post on irrational numbers that was published privately and the point of another on irrational numbers that will be published on this site. It is in the nature of the disconnect (as I term it) that there is no correlation between certain happenings in our material world – like prettiness – and things that have nothing to do with it. Like intelligence. There is no correlation between intelligence and the size of one’s brain. The Neanderthals had bigger brains than we do, they weren’t intelligent in the way we are, and that again is for a future post to explore. The old adage holds true here: “it’s not what you do, it’s the way that you do it.”

Only when someone has thought that prettiness in women is the holy grail, who is to tell them otherwise? Why would they think of the link between chickens and food wrapped in plastic? These aren’t things they’ve thought to question – as my pretty friend did and all of her own accord – nor have such people been taught to question. But that is why they’re professors, and that’s why they know it’s right that pretty women are more intelligent than those who aren’t. It’s a comfortable job, being a professor: everybody thinks you’re right. Nobody questions you.

And so the problem is compounded as more and more things are taken for granted…

So What Is My Most Powerful Weapon?

Men don’t see me as pretty because I am a fifty something frump who wears specs and no makeup.

Therefore most men walk past me and save me having to determine that they’re stupid through issuing one or two quiet challenges. The kind of challenge that are relatively subtle, but still elucidate the required response. That is to say: an evasion or a denial. These are too subtle for the man to go into overdrive and start insulting me. I probed GC with subtle questions and he replied in a way that suggested he might actually understand. And then he posts a comment to tell me that he didn’t.

Well, you can’t win ’em all, can you?

Which is the point: this isn’t me asking them a direct question and expecting a trite, standardized response. I’m looking for someone who will listen to me. Only it’s more than that: I’m looking for someone who will not only listen, but consider. That is to say, they respect me enough to listen to what I say, consider it and make up their own mind as to whether I’m right or not.

In doing so, they tell me that they’re truly intelligent. Whatever they’re doing in their lives that is beneficial to mankind will already be a part of their life and it takes but little exploration to determine what this is. My job is to tell them what it is that they might develop it in full consciousness, and thus give it far more attention. It matters little what it is, it matters that it is there at all. From this one seed, the plant that is our thinking will grow, flower and set seed. Not only that, but they will do it for themselves and out of their own energies because it will bring them the greatest pleasure to meet people who are as open and honest.

Those who aren’t will simply walk past me because they’ve already determined that I can’t be intelligent because I’m not pretty.

Which is pretty stupid, really. But that’s men for you.

 

Notes:

(1) An ‘ACT’ test, by the way, is a lumpen and inaccurate measure of a person’s knowledge. Not their intelligence, albeit that to those who don’t know what intelligence is, it’s hard to tell the difference.

(2) His commment ran thus:

Comfort zone aside, I just tried to give you a picture of how your comments can be experienced, not all but some of them….
Above you have said –
“I know that on occasion I can be rude: but that is only when a person has already shown me that they cannot hear. What I learned was that they are utterly unaware of having done this.”
How can you make such judgements on people you’ve never met or know? And does it really matter if they are unaware?

You can find my own response directly after his. The point here is that this is my fault for hurting him. He lacks the ability to determine what is me asking a subtle yet pointed question that asks him if he can think for himself.

(3) This I explore in detail in my post “Milena Sees Witchcraft Everywhere.”

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12 thoughts on “My Most Powerful Weapon.

  1. markdarlingum says:

    “is it me that sees them being nasty, when in fact, they’re just being normal people”

    This was one hundred percent my conflict with S yesterday; was I justified in my irritated feelings or just being a giant baby? As facts would have it, it was a little bit of both. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. stephenroi says:

    First time migrant to your blog Gemma and believe it or not I’ve spotted a typo:

    I think this para should read:
    “In a world where males measure the length of their engine with a ruler, or by the size of the intelligence they can buy….”
    To mis-quote Garrison Keillor, “When the boys were too busy measuring the lengths of their engines, the girls were busy playing at creating complex social groups with their dolls” so its no wonder that most of this stuff you refer to passes completely over our heads…..

    Like

    • Gemma says:

      Thankyou for commenting.

      But males do measure their intelligence with a ruler. At least, if they can still get it stiff.

      Perhaps I should re-write it? 😉

      As to the stuff passing over your head, that’s not a worry to me. If you engage with other people, at some point they will raise the issue that requires you to think of the things I spoke of. When you do, and do so out of your own accord, it matters not a jot who gave it to you, it matters that you remember what you forgot. Then it’s your own to use as you wish. I’ll add that anybody teaching through authority cannot do this for you.

      Like

  3. stephenroi says:

    I stand corrected. You were absolutely correct first time. (Note to self must look for subtleties in future).
    I think you’ve got the measure of me … “as in x inches but I don’t use it as a rule”….(And before you ask that x is not a Roman ten!) 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  4. stephenroi says:

    Talking of brain cells this from Albert Einstein in 1936:

    ““I want to oppose the idea that the school has to teach directly that special knowledge and those accomplishments which one has to use later directly in life. The demands of life are much too manifold to let such a specialized training in school appear possible…The development of general ability for independent thinking and judgment should always be placed foremost…”

    Liked by 2 people

    • Gemma says:

      There are things we need to learn in school, but it is not just the plodding arithmetic or spelling. Whilst doing teacher training, I remember the children waiting to be told how to spell a word. Like ‘windoe’ – only to return to their desk without a clue as to why they wanted the word for their story.

      Much better to allow the children to write a story and develop that skill than stifle it by telling them the spelling is more important.

      Shakespeare never bothered…

      https://gemmasponderings.wordpress.com/2015/08/07/shakespeares-nine-lives/

      Like

  5. stephenroi says:

    Gemma, have you read “The late Mr Shakespeare” by Robert Nye? Its very entertaining.

    One reviewer writes: “Having read this at the public library I decided I wanted a copy to keep. It’s both learned and a great entertainment. I’ve been teaching Shakespeare for 40 years and this is some of the most fun I’ve ever had with him. A wonderful imaginary book as if it was written by a member of Shakespeare’s acting company.”

    Liked by 1 person

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