Hitting The Wall · Modern Times

An Interview With My Laptop.

There’s a lot of talk about Artificial intelligence, only I feel that the people who are trying to forward this notion don’t really know how our brains work – and they certainly don’t know how a computer does its job. But that’s modern life for you: they are paid lots of money to make silly suggestions and I’m not.

It’s said that goldfish lead exciting lives. This is because in their small world, practically everything’s new. By the time they’ve toured their bowl, they’ve forgotten what was there, and it’s all exciting and fresh again! It must be quite wonderful to be able to spend your waking hours in the pursuit of such discoveries. The trouble is that the goldfish’s powers of retention aren’t very strong, and whilst everything’s fresh and new, that’s only because they’ve forgotten what was there fifteen seconds ago.

It was with this thought in mind that I switched on my computer this morning and I thought I would interview it, to give you an idea of the life of an ordinary, everyday Laptop.

Me: “Good morning, computer.

My Laptop: “Yer sees now: I’s gotta do all this processin’ like, just to speak to yer. Right? Coz, like I can’t do anyfin wivvout wot someone’s gone and programmed it, like, There thassanuvver billion done”

Continue reading “An Interview With My Laptop.”


How To Work With American Businessmen.

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Technology is one of those areas where price competition is at its toughest, and companies across the planet are producing equipment that is effectively the same – from diggers to supertankers. Oh, and computers of course. The result of producing all but identical equipment means there’s little choice you can make between them all, except of course, if you’re an expert. Which means most people buy either out of habit – or failing this, on price.

It was with price in their minds that an American computer company – its name is irrelevant as it could be any one of them – outsourced the production of small circuit boards to a company in Taiwan. Continue reading “How To Work With American Businessmen.”